apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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