I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
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