and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
