I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Someone came in the potted fern
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
