Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
