he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
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Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
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Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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