So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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