used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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