i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
