so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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