I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
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Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
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"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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