also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
