She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
