So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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