the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
