he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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