maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
