I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Randomize
