dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
