My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
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