at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
