Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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