Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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