what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
