Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
