I need help removing her.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
