i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
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He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
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She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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