you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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