is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
