Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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