he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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