I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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