i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
