Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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