no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
