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her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
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