The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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