I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
As shirtless as possible
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize