Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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