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I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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