He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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