so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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