Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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