I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
