Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
