ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
