Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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