Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
