Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
