Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Randomize
