My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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