Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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