Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
