i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Randomize
