STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
