Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
