You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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