i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
