Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
