And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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