oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon