He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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