Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
